Well, our story is largely unwritten. Who knows what the future holds for us. So our story is mostly filled with background information on why we want to adopt, and how we came to this decision.
I have always wanted to adopt, for as long as I can remember. Having people close to me, throughout the years, that were involved in the adoption process, made my desire to adopt even stronger. I only hoped that I would marry a man that wanted the same things I did. Daddy had never really thought about adoption before we got married, but as we pondered and discussed, we both realized that this was something we thought could happen in our family one day.
Thinking back on it now, I always thought that adoption is something that we would do in the future, far future, after we had several children first...it just seemed like the most probable way it would happen. So, my first reason for wanting to do it now, or at least sometime in the near future (whether it be after another baby or not) is because it feels right. It feels better to me to adopt a baby in between instead of waiting until my children are older, and then adopting.
The second reason, which I'll go into more detail than "it just feels right" is timing. I grew up in a family with many children, not just immediately, but extended as well....there are oodles of children, all over the place. My aunts and mother just seem to be child-delivering geniuses, as they all had so many, seemingly (to me at least) without a hitch. My family is into natural everything, and along with that, comes natural births as well. So, as I went into my first labor (maybe a little to naive), I thought I would follow the many women that had gone before me, and have a natural delivery as well. I must of that it would be easy or something, or why the heck would anyone do it 8 or 9 times...or more?? ha ha....well, for one, I now know that its not easy, ha ha.
So...back to my natural delivery, in my eyes "natural" meant no drugs, at all. And thats what I asked for, no drugs in any way. So, no matter how difficult it became, I was too worried about the potential effects on the baby, to give in to any amount of drugs....looking back on it now, it may have been the wrong way to go about it, but who knows. Anyways, after a long labor, when the doctor said "C-section", I was literally shocked! C-section? I had barely heard of this word, and it would have NEVER crossed my mind that this would EVER have happened to me. What? Our family just pops out babies, ALL of them....how could I not do it? Anyways, after all the shock subsided, and I realized this was the only way out, I had a c-section....I didn't really have a choice in the matter at this point. I know that many of you might read this and be like, whats the big deal? People have c-sections all the time? ....but most people are not me, I guess. Without getting into gruesome details I'll just say that I have had a hard time recovering....it takes a LONG time for me to feel back to my normal self. This LONG time is full of infections, adverse reactions to the freezing and any other drug for that matter (really bad...maybe a story for another time). Because of the size of babies heads, and the way my last one went, I see the chances of me delivering naturally, VERY slim....but I still want to try at least once more.
So, after 2 C-sections I thought long and hard about how many of these I would want....I mean, do I want to be recovering from C-sections every 2 years? I know I want a large family, and I still do. That has not changed. My OB has said that he can do as many C-sections as I want, or can handle, at least....he has done 6 on one lady. 6 is how many kids I had hoped for, well, at least 5....and it seems a little crazy to have that many surgeries...it freaks me out just thinking about it. So, I guess it depends on how my next labor goes, as I plan on trying for a V-BAC next time around, and who knows, maybe it will go extremely well, and won't end up in surgery again. But, chances are, I'll end up having at least a few more c-sections....so, to get to the point. I've decided it makes more sense to have a few kids, and adopt a couple as well. I'm not sure how this will turn out, and even less sure on how the timing of it will work out. But it makes sense to me that adopting in between c-sections, would give my body a lot more time to heal. And hopefully, the healthier I am, the better chance I have at a V-BAC next time around.
Well, thats pretty much my story. Unfortunately, once we decided that we wanted to at least try and adopt this time around, we didn't have the money to do it. And now that we do, it seems like we don't have the time. To go on wait list, it takes up to 6 months to even get on, and you have to pay a considerable amount up front as well. Which is fine, if you are willing to wait on the list for a long time. But, I feel a little more rushed just because its taken us so long to save up the money, and sort out what our plans were. I would like my kids to be relatively close together, thats how I grew up, and I loved having siblings that were close in age to me.
So, we've made our decision now, that we won't go on a formal wait-list or anything, but we'll hope that someday soon we will meet someone privately. If it doesn't work out, and we've felt like we've tried for a considerable amount of time, then we will most likely just try again after the next baby. At that point we would hopefully have the time and money to go on a formal wait list then.
Well....this ended up to be a lengthy story after all, ha ha. And here I thought that it would be short and sweet, I'm just too much of a talker I guess, ha ha. So, thats our story, and if life was perfect, and turned out as planned...we would meet someone REALLY soon, and things would fall into place perfectly....ha ha....but we'll have to wait and see what the Lord has planned.
Daily Gratitudes: That even when I get next to no sleep, after I'm awake, it feels like any other day; that my kids(and nieces) say the cutest things everyday; for my primary children and how WELL they sing!
Funny Quote: This one comes from my niece, AN, hopefully her mother doesn't mind be sharing it with the blogger world. Last night we were talking about babies, and she randomly said "she's gonna die" and I was like "who?"....AN: "My mom"....me: "what? she won't die for a while! And if you ever get sad about it, you can just pray!"....AN: "Thats a GREAT idea....when my mom dies, I'll pray so that I can get a NEW one!!"....ha ha ha....like seriously, what goes through their little heads, lol.