Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Patience...what I've learned about myself

So, I've learned a lot about patience, throughout my whole life, but specifically in the last little while.I've always known that I wasn't great at having patience all the time, in all things. 
I've worked really hard in the last 6 months + to become more patient in my family life, with my children and husband. Mostly my children...I had a difficult time always maintaining patience when it came to them. 
A friend of mine was talking about different parenting methods, and how the best method is to be like Christ. Try and act as he would have acted....unconditional love, patience, kindness in all things. 
I work on this a lot....I usually encompass all of these Christ-like aspects into "Charity". I LOVE that word, and everything that it means. I love to study about charity in the scriptures, and how I can become more charitable in every aspect of my life. 
I developed a pretty good plan, once I realized the things that made me more and less patient. I've never been a yeller, but I would definitely lose my patience with A more than I wanted to. 
Probably THE biggest thing that I learned about us and patience, was that my attitude had the biggest impact on the children. If I was happier and more patient they would be a lot more well-behaved. This has made a pretty big change in how I am, even if they do something crazy(which happens a lot with toddlers, ha ha), I try as har as I can to be happy about the situation, or at least kind and gracious when dealing with the aftermath. 
Another big thing I noticed was that the kids, especially A, would be MUCH more well behaved if we went out at least once a day. Leaving the house, even just to go to the park, go shopping, or go to swimming lessons, would really help how the day would go. 
I also noticed some "triggers", things that made both of the grumpier. One was how much food they had eaten, or how much sleep they had gotten. If they we're having a tantrum for seemingly no reason to me, most of the time they were either lacking food or sleep. 
Another thing that made a difference was who A would spend his time with. There are a few friends that he has, one in particular, that I've noticed has a really bad affect on him. He would always end up grumpy, balk-talking and with a bad temper, if he spent time with this child. I think I didn't do anything about this for too long because I enjoyed the mothers company, as we were friends. Once I realized that this was turning into a problem, I had to sacrifice spending as much time as I wanted with her, so that A would behave much better.
Needless to say, things have been substantially better. A is still hyper, and crazy things do happen...but we are happy. We try and do something fun every day, I watch what makes him happy/unhappy and try and regulate those things more, and the biggest change has been with me. I try and be kind and gracious in all situations, even the craziest ones...and it is much easier now. I definitely have't mastered it yet, but I will one day.
The aspect of patience that I am still sorely lacking in, is not this kind, however. 
I LOVE planning.....scheduling, writing out lists, being organized in every aspect of my life. What comes with this, is a deep hatred of the unknown, ha ha. I hate not knowing whats going to happen next, and not being able to plan for things....especially the future.
As of late, this has been difficult for me, because I want to know what we are going to be doing with our lives. Will we live here for much longer? When will we be blessed with a baby and how? I just wish that I had a crystal ball that would tell me exactly what was going to happen and when. Unfortunately that is not going to happen. 
I've realized that I just need to have more faith. More faith in the Lord, and that he has a hand in all things. He knows what I so deeply desire, and He will bless me when He knows I am ready, and when He knows will be the best time for our family. I only hope and pray, that I will have enough faith to get over my impatient nature....that I will be able to just hand my life over to Him, in every aspect, and know that everything will be okay, more than okay even.

Daily Gratitudes: For all that my children are learning. I love watching them learn and grow, A has gotten to be so cute, and asks and answers so many questions, that surprise me. At church on sunday his teacher said that he put up his hand and said " I have something really special to say. I have scriptures in my own room." How cute is he?!
Oh, and for my tree, that is finally up and decorated. Well, up with fishing line still, but oh looks really nice all done up
Funny Quote: A was on speaker phone telling my sister what I wanted for Christmas and he said excitedly " I know what mama wants!! She wants twins!" lol....I sure do, ha ha...but I don't think aunty will be able to get me those, lol.

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