Saturday, August the 6th was my 26th birthday, and oh, what a day it was....full of fun, craziness and one massive vehicle breakdown.
But alas, this post is not about what happened that day, but on what didn't happen that day, or the week or month or full year before that day.
August the 6th officially marks the ruin of my life plan.
You see, I am a planner...to the core. My life is full of lists, schedules, calendars...everything and anything to keep me on track. I love having a plan set out for everything, and I like my plans working out as well.
I have had this life plan for quite some time now. I got married at age 20, first baby age 21, 2nd baby age 23...third baby was supposed to come at age 25...but you see, I'm not 25 anymore.
This may seem like some little inconsequential thing, but to me, it's big. It's big because nothing in our life is on plan right now. Our job situation is still soo up in the air, where we are going to be living, what we are going to be doing....and the no-baby thing is like the icing on the cake(refer to our baby story here).
Up until that Saturday, I had always thought....well, we could get a call today, or tomorrow, or the next day saying, "we have a a baby for you, right now!"
BUT...it didn't happen.
My hubby has said several meaningful things to me over the past week or so, as I have pondered on our life plans, or lack there of. He said something along these lines "It's good when your plans don't work out, because then it leaves more room for the Lord's plan and the Lord's desires to become more prevalent in your life." And that's so true, isn't it?
Several years ago, as I lay in bed coming up with this wonderful life plan, I had several friends that were in this stage of life, where there plans were just not working out. Not once did I look at them and think, "wow, what if my plans don't work out?"....instead I thought, "well, that's them...not me, my plans will still work out."
How arrogant on me to think that. I had thought that because my husand was SO smart, SO driven and SO wonderfully awesome in every way that of course he would get a job right out of school...and an awesome one at that, paying millions of dollars, right? :) And of course our kids would be born easily, with good health...and plenty of kids for that matter.
On this topic of plans not turning out...my birth plan not turning out has probably been one of the hardest ones for me, traumatic actually. Going into labor, and taking prenatal classes, not ONCE did I ever think the word c-section. I wasn't even planning on using ANY drugs....so surgery like that was completely out of the question. It had not even crossed my mind that it would happen to me...as everyone that had ever been close to me had had babies so easily. It might not have been SO much of a shock, if it had ever even crossed my mind.
JD recently said to me, "as soon as you had that first c-section I knew our lives would be different. Much different than we had planned." It was so true too....babies were supposed to come easy to me....lots of babies, close together too:)
Over the last week as I have been thinking about this topic, and on all of our failed plans...I am reminded of a talk that I listened too at a women's conference in Calgary by Laurel Christianson.
She said in her talk that she had had so many life plans fall through....first it was plan A, then Plan B, then C...pretty soon she had gone past Z and was on to the Greek alphabet.
After some time, of woe-ing her life and how it had turned out...she pondered and read the scriptures unceasingly...until she came to the realization that her life needed to be on track with the Lord's plan. She was on plan A, and always had been...she just hadn't known that THIS was her plan A.
Well folks...that's me. I am on Plan A....I am exactly where it is that I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing....but little did I know that THIS was Plan A.
From now on, when I am coming up with all these plans, I need to keep in mind that I am on Plan A...and I need to plan based on what the Lord wants for me in my life...not always what I want.
As I said several posts ago, "some blessings come soon, some come late and some don't come till heaven"...well, all of the blessings that I know I can and will receive may not come at the times that I want them too...but they will come...in the Lord's timing...and on His Plan A for me.