Yes, I had a difficult day yesterday....dealing with everything I talked about in my last post...and even more that evening....and even more this morning as we were told from the adoption agency that we would have to be taken off the list while we are in Hawaii (which I am super sad about...).
I was probably just going to end up being bummed out in my whole post....again....then I read a beautiful post by a friend this morning entitled "beautiful heartbreak"...all about an especially difficult trial that she was going through this last week. I would link to it, but it is a personal story of hers, so I'll just use the beautiful song that she named her post after. If you haven't listened to it, you should...it's perfect.
It made me feel silly for these tiny little trials that I am so disconcerted by.
There are so many trials that I could have, that other do have, and that I probably will have one day...that will be much more heat-breaking than the ones I have now.
I am also reminded of the Canadian soldier who lost his life a week ago, and left behind a young wife, close to my age, with 2 young children...one being only a few weeks old. This soldier was from my home town, and went to high-school with my brother, my husband and I.
I watched a little video clip of the memorial, and watched this young mother holding her tiny little baby, with her toddler walking behind...what a heartbreak.
It really made me count my blessings...I have a family whom I adore, a great church family here in our neighborhood, and so many wonderful friends. I have a wonderful husband, who is here for me, who gets to spend a lot of time with our family, and who I always look up to and lean on for strength.
In the song that went with my friends post, beautiful heartbreak, there was shown a myriad of women, who showed the trials that they have been through....really tough and difficult trials...much more difficult than anything I'm ever seen. It also reminded me of the need to be caring, loving, and especially understanding.
As that car drives you by and cuts you off, or someone loses their temper at you, or forgets to come to an appointment you had set up (like my day yesterday)....we can think of all of the things going on in their lives....we have no idea what a difficult day, or year, or life that they have...and we can all try and be a little more understanding of others trials and decisions in life.
I will definitely be trying.
I have already begun to see blessings and solutions to problems that I have been contemplating, specifically my difficulty with enabling vs. loving with a specific person is my life...I think I have found a way to do both so far...and I hope it works.
I'm truly grateful for these answers to prayers, and grateful that for the trials I have...for they do serve a purpose....
to increase my faith...
....and they have.